YEP, I'M A REDNECK
by Sherry Krial

A few years ago, after I had finished having kids and was getting back to looking like "me" again… The "hub" was working up near Harford so the boys and I drove up to see the job and then go to the Harford Fair. Of course, the big attraction for me was that I got to wear my new Harley Davidson shirt with the spaghetti straps and a pair of jeans that were actually smaller than the hub's jeans which I had been wearing since having the boys. Naturally, we would be walking around a bunch of pastures at the Fair, so I made sure I wore my boon-dockers, too. It was good; I felt like I had a good look and none of the stuff that isn't supposed to be sticking out wasn't! So, off we went to the Fair!

The Harford Fair is a beautiful country Fair much like our own GDS Fair just a whole lot further away! The boys and I hooked up with the hub and were cruisin' the Fair when we realized we were there on the night of the big truck and tractor pull and, since I'd never actually been to anything like that live and the boys had never even heard of a truck and tractor pull, we stayed to watch!

We settled in around the middle of the stands and the festivities began! It was really neat, the boys and I were super-duper impressed and were having a great time! Hub had his beer, the boys and I had our fresh squeezed lemonade, hot dogs, all the best that a great Fair can provide, it was great! Everybody screams for their favorite truck/tractor and, even though we "weren't from 'round there…," we soon had picked our favorites and were screaming just as loud as everybody else. Then, of course, you get through the heats and it's time for the main event. So, we went out for refills on the lemonade and beer, hot dogs and pretzels, oh, and ice cream, this time, too… then on with the show.

Now, as previously stated, I thought - for a Fair - I was dressed to the 9's and the hub made sure he let me know that the "ole shape" was lookin' pretty good that I might even "get lucky" later! Hee-haaa and Hell-yeah baby! So, there we were sitting about center stands where we could see absolutely everything. Oh, this was also one of the first big outings we had taken the boys to and my vernacular hadn't really improved much since having kids and all of a sudden something happened, I'm on my feet and out of my mouth came… well, you know, a sentence that included one of those words (and just so you know, it's a truck pull, I wasn't the only one in the stands that talked like a truck driver either, which, of course, doesn't make it right, yeah, yeah, blahbity, blah, blah…). Anyway, the hub looks over at me and he says - "Whoa girl, Harley shirt, tight jeans, boon-dockers, potty mouth, at the truck pull and really lovin' it… Oh my G! You made it! You're finally a redneck, baby!" I was stunned! I looked myself over and he was right. Redneck women from what I've noticed are probably about the best chicks around. Dress comfortable but look great, love to have a good time but don't push it buddy, and I think the best part is that we tell it like it is - shoot straight from the hip! And, well, if y'all got to throw in a couple of non - "G" - rated syllables - so be it. It was probably necessary to get that very strong opinion or fact set straight in the minds of those in the listening arena! You go girls!

So, that was my first experience - and obviously won't be the last - of feeling like a full fledged redneck. Well, I've got another little hint that maybe I really am a redneck after all and possibly my girlfriends are, too. (Guys, just so you understand, that's girlfriend - friend that is a girl - not the other way - get it?) Anyway, the other evening I went to a party at a friends' house and us girls were hangin' in the hostess' bedroom (keep it clean y'all!) chatin' the chick stuff and I noticed that a gun case was kind-of obvious over in the corner of the room. So I asked about it. Now, here were the three of us and as we're sitting on her bed as she's talking the chick stuff (which, of course chick stuff conversations can never be revealed to the outside world…) and (step by step sort-of…) she opens the gun case, takes out the gun, sets it all up - incidentally, it was a really nice gun - and we're all checking it out while we're doing the chick chat and… Oh my G! I realized we're rednecks!! We'd have to be!! Unbelievably complete redneck women!! Chick chat and firearms in a completely female environment! (My friend's bedroom is very, very beautiful in whites and creams, with a touch of lavender and just a little pink!)

So there you have it. I'm a redneck, I say hee-haw, y'all and Hell-yeah regularly and with complete conviction! So do my friends. I wish I had a quad for the yard work and mud bogs, love doin' shots, driving a truck and diggin' in the dirt big-time, WWE anytime - anywhere but it's always better when The Rock's on, I sing Karoake whenever possible, and absolutely can't wait for race day at Pocono! Yep, I'm redneck and oh, by the way, don't make any bones about it; damn proud of it, too. It's all good!