CUTE IN CAMOS!
by Sherry Krial

Hello and welcome to the Spring Edition of Tourist Season! A lot of you guys were in over the weekend for the big turkey hunting event and, well, it was good to see you all… or maybe all of you?

After going out over this past weekend, getting to spend some quality chick time with my friends, and after great consideration and much conversation, I have to make a confession to the men out and about… Have the girls in your lives told you lately how cute you guys look in those camos? Well, I'm tellin' you here and now. (And in front of my husband, too!)

Last week, pre-turkey hunt day, my husband disappeared after work, twice. Although not unusual for him to disappear, unusual that he disappeared to go shopping (you know, vs. that other place they all disappear to?). Oh, my G., shopping? Not hub! Well, then I find out that he went over to Dick's and then to Gander Mountain. Ok, got it, DISAPPEAR! Now I'm hip to the deal. I'd disappear in those stores, too. Anyway, he comes home with a couple of bags full of - go figure - new camos. New camos? There's nothing wrong with the old camos? (See y'all think I run around town in ripped up jeans because I like them that way, nope, I get to wear the pants around here after hub's already worn them out! That's what I get for working at home! I didn't see ripped up camos pass my eye?!?) Why would he go out and buy another set of camos? Something new and it's not for me! He shopped for, can I say it?, himself?!? Hey, what gives? OOooooppps, sorry, back to the thing that's not about me… So, new camos, not that I could actually say anything - I know, it's a guy thing - I kind-of relate it to a chick's shoe thing - with guys, it's just a camo thing.

So, on that first turkey morning, I slept in to my usual around 8 (which still means that everyone else is up before me) and when I got up, hub was just returning from being out in the woods. He's telling me all about the turkeys and the call's he's hearing around him, the weather, and blah, blah, blah, turkey, turkey, turkey, hunting, hunting, nature, nature… (Oh, and like you guys pay attention when we come back from the mall all blahbity, blahbity, blah… yeah, right!) And I notice he's wearing the new camos. ALL the new camo gear! And I'm sitting there in my jammers (pjs, pajamas, you know, jammers) thinking about how woodsy and GI Joe-ish he's looking - hat, shirt, jacket, pants… (socks, too? - ya-think?) Then I started looking at the new haircut and shave with the new camo collection and the big gun he was totin'(pronounced "tote - in" and spelled aforementioned for those who need to know - Randy, Bill…), the color in his cheeks from the fresh morning air, the birds started singing and now I'm thinking... My honey's day is just about to get better! Ta-Da!! And, then - he turned around - and there it was, I bust out laughing, I couldn't help it, hysterical, loud, laughing! Hub had this cute little seat cushion attached to his butt!! (Spoken like the little mouse from Loony Toons?) Right to his butt!!! Girls, go figure!! His butt!! Does your man go out in public with his seat cushion attached to his butt? I mean, c'mon guys, a seat cushion on your butt? Yeah, great concept for comfort, butt (hahahaha)… No wonder hub didn't get a turkey, they were all following along behind him watching his butt cushion bounce while he walked through the woods!

So, after I stopped laughing and rolling on the floor and he took his butt off, I really was impressed with how great he looked in those "real tree," "mossy oak" colors! Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh. I think there's another "advantage" to him dressing this way. I mean, aside from wearing a seat on your butt, the rest of the get-up is kind-of sexy. How about the hat with the fur ears?? Love, love those! Butt, (hahahaha) I want one of those just for me. Also, I think I like the white camo gear, too. Yeah, that stuff looks pretty good. I could hide in a snow bank where the kids could never find me - hah, retreat time! Then I started thinking about when I got to wear the coveted camo pants. After I had babies, hub's camos were the only pants in the house that would fit! You know, the waist string? Great concept! So, I thought, hey, I love them for me, too. Boy, maybe there's more to this camo thing than meets a gal's eye!

So, y'all know I work in the bar on Friday and Saturday nights and I get to chat about this stuff while I'm working, and, of course, I get to chat while I'm out and about after work, too. So, I'm posing the question on the camo issue and, while us gals sort-of think the camo thing can be a bit much as you guys seem to layer on soo thick it could take a day or 2 to unlayer you, (yeah, and then you're dealing with the aroma issue… Ok, bad thought.), for the most part, consensus believes the look is pretty sexy. And, then, of course, if we were going to talk camo, well, you have to have the carpenter dude tool belt discussion! You know, between the waist of your pants just snugged down to the hips or the deal with the tool belt full of tools making your pants pull just right around your butt, consensus believes "that's just good scenery." And, of course, right along with that, please keep in mind the whole sawdust thing and the dirt thing for when you guys get really dirty at work… and, well, I could go on and on, butt (hahahaha, again!) I won't!

Naturally, after discussing the concept of this article with my friends and the hub, one of my friends called me up and informed me that Hunter's Gallery has camo lingerie!!! Well, hub's eyes perked up and wwwwwooooo, boy, howdy, we're heading on up there for some of that action!! So, I asked him, you think I'd look good in some of that camo understuff? And, he clips right back at me… "You know that girl in that new video, Redneck Woman? We got to get you one of those camo bras." (I was actually hoping for the quad and the mud pit, but, oh well…) So, I guess the cute in camos thing works for us girls, too!

It's great, camo, a new fad that's actually not new. Especially, if you love Cabella's! (And, who doesn't L-O-V-E CABELLA'S???) My niece wants their camo living room furniture and I have another friend who insists her love life would be significantly better if she had the camo bedroom. I guess you could really go camo crazy - furniture, curtains, walls, clothes, under-clothes, covering your car seats, your dog's wearing it… aaaaahhhhhhh!!!! But I suppose we'd better not get too carried away with it, 'cause what happens when everything around you is covered in camo, you get all decked out for that lucky night, walk into the bedroom… hey, where'd you go?